i need most situations to be funny, so if that means i have to be the set-up guy, i will 


There’s no graffiti like Broadway graffiti

(via egwmusic)

this isn’t funny but i’m going to continue to make jokes about it 2k14 


do you ever think ”there’s not enough lubrication in my joints” 

and just everything hurts 

i’m not giving you any of my social media accounts because my private life has absolutely nothing to do with my job performance.

fuck it just get high 

Anonymous asked: Re: your "rule about naked people" -- How about people who take nude photos of themselves not be stupid and use storage devices that can be hacked, like cloud storage (or take any risks close to that)? Just HOW much personal responsibility does your generation need to shed before you get it through your thick skulls that it only costs $20 for a decent external hard drive these days? :|


"The lock on your diary wasn’t very good, so it’s your fault I read your diary."

"they’re trying to escape with their bird sticks" …legs i meant legs 



Pity about the ink. Otherwise, wonderful!

Or nah. Or nah.

contrary to popular belief; your baby is not cute

Edward Sporty Hands